How I divorced my husband and then brought him back to the family

1. If it came to divorce: how to save a relationship and save a family
2. I don't feel like a married woman
3. The wife is going to leave-2 from isa119
4. Why parents of special children are divorced and how to save a family
5. How I divorced my husband and then brought him back to the family
6. Pimera from life
7. Did you return to your ex-husbands
8. What percentage of men returned to their wives?
9. How to save a family? Guest marriage?
10. And how was your life after the divorce?
11. How to save a family?
12. Family preservation
13. poll - are husbands returning?
14. The fate of the escaped men
15. How to behave with your husband who wants to "return to the family" ???
16. Why did you divorce your husband?
17. How to save a family?
18. I am divorcing my beloved husband
19. How to keep the family if the husband is "sissy"
20. reconciliation after divorce

Hello! I want to tell the story of changing myself for the better.

I became a mom last January. My relationship with my husband went wrong before I even gave birth. He was fired from work for absenteeism, but he continued to lie to me that he was walking to her. And where he disappeared later, he did not bother to explain.

We parted, he was not even interested in how I and the baby do. As a result, did not even come to the hospital on discharge. Thanks to this, I had a terrible postpartum depression and I blamed everyone around, but not myself. I was very irritable, I was infuriated by everything around me. I filed for divorce from my husband, and we were divorced without his presence.

But, looking at my little son, my creation, I realized that such a life would not bring a good life, and decided to change everything. And I started with myself. I began to analyze why I didn’t like something in any situation, and corrected it so that I would start to arrange everything. Become more tolerant and calmer - because there is someone to try.

When the baby was six months old, I found the strength to call my ex-husband, offered to take a walk with the child. By the way, during these six months my husband occasionally called to find out how his son was doing, and he came a couple of times, but he did not provide any help.

And so we met. They calmly discussed all the situations, told each other who was wrong in what. We have a common child, in addition, we love each other, and everything turned out oh, how not good. We agreed that we would try to start over. And now we have been living together for six months and enjoy every day that has passed.

My husband got a job almost as soon as we got along. Of course, there was no desire for anything special from him, but I calmly explained to him that he was the head of the family, we need him as a support, a protector and a “breadwinner”. Now he goes to work, knowing that when he comes home he is waiting for a happy wife, who will not shout at him.

Now I can say that all the troubles came only from myself. Did the husband do something wrong? I yelled, rather than calmly point out a mistake and ask no more to do so in the future. And, as it turned out, he stopped going to work for one simple reason - in the morning I notably spoiled the mood of my next hysterical , and already at work, he quarreled with the head. And I cheated again, in order to avoid screaming at him.

Mom climbs everywhere with her advice? She screamed at her too, and she only wanted the best, because she was more experienced and wiser. State pays low benefits? Well, so well, I’m guilty myself, I had to work officially, and I would get good maternity. And many, many things I can cite as an example.

Girls, the most important thing is not to rush headlong into the fire. It is better to remain silent, to reflect on the situation, to find out the root of the problem. You need to work on yourself and your emotions. Yes, we all can be very hard, but it is useful for our development.

In conclusion, I can say: thanks to the fact that I pulled myself together, learned to control my emotions, to be more tolerant, tender and tender, I see every day a smile on my husband's face and hear words of gratitude for the prepared dinner, washed and ironed clothes and tons . P., before this was not. Very often he began to make surprises and give flowers for no reason - he himself now wants to make me happy more often. I forgave him all the previous mistakes, forgot all my grievances, thereby saving the family.

The smile on the face of a woman and her calm, positive attitude create incredible miracles! Change yourself - and the world around you will become brighter, more positive and kinder!

Author

Catherine

Personal experience

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Discussion

Evil envious people write comments with convictions. And I think you are a great fellow! Surely the husband has something to love, and the fact that he was not ready for family life may come from his own family, where he was born. A wise woman in this case brings up not only the child, but also the husband (imperceptibly for him), starting with herself. This is very difficult, guys ... Rejoice for the family, and do not discuss who is right and who is to blame. HAPPINESS TO ALL!

03/11/2018 09:05:05 AM, Svetlana Vyacheslavovna

Mdyaya ... I really hope that everything has really worked out for you and there will be no relapse.
But based on my experience of family relationships (very conformable with yours), I can say one thing. A peasant who does not take responsibility for family relations, who has withdrawn earlier, will sooner or later enter the same rut. No, not even that. He is happy, in the case of temporary discord in a relationship, will reverse. Everything will be as before. And most likely even worse.

03/08/2018 9:48:00 PM Oh how !!

hospid! all your life keep yourself under control, so that the peasant (traitor!) feeds you and his child ... kapets! and it can end either a mental hospital or an emotional outburst.
Better to be natural and interesting ...
Breaking yourself .... and he ... and he just goes to work - a deep bow to his legs ..... yeah ....

Well what a game ... Prostogozhodi.

Here it is, the apogee of the extreme "start with yourself." Unfortunately, this will lead you not only to start from yourself, but to continue until you are done. Yes, work on yourself is necessary. Yes, our actions affect others. But you know what you get in the end? First - for some reason, only you were guilty, recognizing, having repented, you completely removed at least some guilt and participation of the husband in the situation. He is not guilty of anything, perfect and generally unjustly offended. So, he has no reason to work on himself and change something, you are to blame. Secondly, you deprive the spouse of his part of the activity and activities. And this is fundamentally not true. It was he who quarreled with the boss, he quit, he was hiding from you. What does it mean to “avoid screams”? Not serious? In a normal situation, a person takes his mouth and makes complaints. And if they do not listen to him and shout, he again says with his mouth, “Do not raise your voice at me. Either we solve this question calmly, or you go to a corner, you get angry and come back with an adequate answer.” And not hiding in the corners. Your husband’s participation - 50% - his clear claims, wishes, ideas. And until he learns how to do his part, nothing will get better. Because you can only your 50% - no more. Just before you had 100% inadequate and inability to communicate, and now only 50%. You have not adjusted your life right now, you have put even more problems on yourself - control over emotions, you have moved your boundaries (mother wanted to do better, you can’t ask her not to interfere). You caved in, strangled yourself and became more comfortable. and still infinitely guilty that not everything suits you. But the real problems in the family remained. And the mother who does not understand when not to interfere in someone else's life, and the husband, who will easily run away from new problems and just as easily forgets about having a child. And in general for all the time, I didn’t see the need to solve problems (you called, suggested options - you reminded me of the family - you). And then you will do everything. You are the only problem, right?

03/05/2018 12:15:27, Dio

Are you sure that you need such a person?
He quit his job, he was not interested in either his son or you
And now suddenly fell in love with everyone urgently?
And again I did not want to work, but my wife made me
How old is he?
And at the same time, they think that they themselves are guilty that a healthy man does not work and does not need a child?
I'm shocked

03/04/2018 11:55:48 Raspberry Red

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